The Hunt continues....

I know it's been a while since I've blogged, but I've come to a point where I was not sure if I should continue "sharing" my thoughts, my words, bits and pieces of my life because it's almost like I'm being vulnerable at the same time. Special thanks to my blogger friend Boni. I just read her blog and her post motivated me to write a blog on my page!

So what's been going on with me? Let's see....what shall I write about? Oh okay, I know...my quest to find a J-O-B.

I'm still job-hunting and it's actually becoming exhausting. At one point, Floyd told me to take a break. I guess he saw that it was wearing me out how I would apply for a job, interview for the job, then get the "I'm sorry" letter notifying me that I didn't get the job. It took a toll on me, indeed. I have friends and family helping me out, but we just don't seem to understand why it's hard to get hired out here. I'm always "over qualified" or "under qualified", but never just QUALIFIED. It's frustrating! Oh no, but my frustration doesn't mean that I'm giving up. I still apply for at least 2 jobs a day, follow up with the employment agencies on any openings and the cycle goes on and on.

So while I'm hunting for a job, I'm told that people back on Saipan seem to take a big interest on my life out here. Mainly, asking if I'm working yet, etc. Besides my immediate family, why do other people have to know if I got a job or not? What's in it for them? It's almost like some people feel powerful because I'm unemployed and they're employed. Someone even had the audacity to ask me (over and over) if I enjoyed being unemployed. I said I did because it gives me the overdue vacation I needed. That person said, "Oh yeah, will you still be happy when the bills come in?" OH.MY.GOSH!!! Are my finances your business, too?! It's a shame that others find joy in being sarcastically obnoxious. They obviously have nothing better to do with their lives.

As much as I miss home, that's exactly the crap I don't miss one bit!

Move over Rachel Ray....

Last week I was in the mood to bake and cook so I attempted to make rosketti (a Chamorro cookie) and pancit (Filipino noodle dish) for the first time ever. Lucky for me, they both turned out good.

The recipie that my mom gave me for the rosketti made close to 300 peices of rosketti, I nearly died! There was no way I was going to eat all of that so I passed it out to family members. I received good reviews from many and also received some awesome feedback from my tasters and viewers. So the next time I make it, it's gonna be even more delicious the next time around!

My sister-in-law was craving for some pancit and asked if I knew how to make it. I told her that I have seen it being made many times at family parties, but never actually made it myself -- but I sure can try. She was willing to let me do it and it turned out mmm, mmm good! Floyd even certifies that it tastes good. I added a little too much noodles this time around, so I'll adjust the next time I make it.

You can't handle the truth!!!

I'm depressed. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm confused. I have a huge whirlwind of emotions flowing through my body all at once. I know why, but I don't know how to get over it. I hate being on the pissy side of life. I'd rather be my jolly ol self and sing some karaoke - sing my heart out! That always makes me feel better and less stressed.

Through tough times like this it's almost like I make a complete 360 degree change on myself and sometimes I freak myself out. It's like being happy little Rainbow Brite and then transforming into the Hulk all of a sudden. Yeah, it's pretty scary. I try not to let the emotions get the best of me, but sometimes you just gotta let it out. You just gotta stop being strong and just cry. Cry it out. Shed those tears. Boy does that feel good, huh?

Have you ever had those situations where you're super-duper, utterly sad and someone tries to comfort you and says, "Be strong! You have to be strong!" Ugh, I hated that! What the hell is that supposed to mean?! Okay, besides the obvious. I'd honestly rather hear: "Pull yourself together." It's very blunt, very honest, very true. It's almost like a slap in the face to get back into reality. I appreciate honesty, I guess.

I have a very good friend who I never doubt is always honest with me. We'll call her "Kelly". When I poured out my heart to my close friends about my troubles, all my friends would comfort me and tell me what I would probably want to hear. Oh but not Kelly! She was always 200% honest. She's the kind of friend that made me think twice, take a step back and realize what I just said was wrong (or right). She's the one that would tell me that I made a bad choice. Sometimes it would kill me inside when she would be frank with her advice, but I always knew it was because she wanted to be brutally honest with me....and I love her for doing that.

Okay, so I DO appreciate honesty....when it's the right time to be honest. Does that make sense?

Mahalang Yu (I'm home sick)

I recently had a conversation with a friend and he reminded me of the beautiful things back home in Saipan. One of the things he remembered were the beautiful sunsets. Ahhh, those sunsets. Who could beat that? You could be having the worse day ever, but when you park at the beach to take in the beautiful colors of the sunset, it's like all your worries just melt away. I miss seeing that!

After having this conversation, it made me think of the things I missed about home.

The weather. Okay, there are only certain things I miss aobut it, minus the humidity, please. Earlier today I was on the phone with my mom and the 10pm news came on. She was talking to me about the scorching heat back home and how she wishes it would rain. As she was telling me this, I saw the weather forecast for tomorrow and told my mom it was going to be 102 degrees on Sunday! Her response: "Ewww!!!" I guess I don't mind the heat, back home sometimes it was just the humidity that got to me. I hardly break a sweat out here, but the heat here is definitely more intense!

Oh my gosh, the good food. Who is not going to miss all the food back home? My mom mailed me her so-called "secret recipe" for rosketti (a cookie) and I found it hilarious that she even had a detailed drawing (in numerical order) that showed me how the rosketti was supposed to be shaped like. Never mind that we had our fair share of rosketti baking days back home. I think she thought that as soon as the plane left Saipan, I loss all those valuable cooking lessons. I remember those comments after asking a question: "see nai you don't put too much corn starch or else this is gonna happen...ya siempre ti mungi ya u na lustima." (...and then it's not going to taste good and it'll all go to waste)

But most of all, it's my family and friends who I miss the most! The get-togethers, events to attend to, the laughter, the moments and those calls I receive to just come over and eat because they made my favorite: chicken chalakilis.

Home is definitely where my heart is. *big sigh!*

THOU SHALL NOT have any contact with others

Globally, I’m sure everyone is aware of the Swine Flu pandemic. It has caused a bit of frantic people to take extra precautionary measures when coming into contact with others. However, when I was in church yesterday, they took it to a whole different level!

Right before we could say peace to our fellow brothers and sisters, our parish priest read out a memo from our bishop saying that because of the H1N1 pandemic, and for precautionary reasons, the bishop is asking all parishioners not to have contact with others during the “sign of peace” and instead show a simple gesture of peace without any contact. Excuse my french, but WTF?! I could tell the guy that sat behind me was surprised as he mumbled yet loudly, “Oh my god!” The priest continued with his announcement and also announced that when receiving communion, it was requested that you receive it by hand only and not by mouth. WOW! I couldn’t believe my ears! I understand the severity of the situation with the pandemic and all, but in all honesty, going to church just didn’t feel right after that.

Introducing......

I would like you to meet my neice, Marlie Jade Villagomez Green. She's approximately 11 months today. She was born in California and now resides in Summerlin - Las Vegas. Since she moved to Las Vegas, she has been a regular guest at our place in East Las Vegas and is just an absolute joy to have around the house. I love observing her every move and I'm amazed how she learns quickly and is learning independence, even at such a young age!

*Marlie Jade*

*Floyd & Marlie*

*Story Time with Marlie*

What did you say???

Recently, I was in line at Wal-Mart when I couldn't help but notice the people in front of me. There was a child, a little girl, probably 6 or 7 years old, crying her little heart out. I wasn't sure why, but I wasn't about to ask either. Her mother, probably in her late 20's, started to speak to her in Spanish. I had no idea what she told her, but from her body language it was probably along the lines of: Will you please stop crying! Well, that was my interpretation at least.

I'm still in line. I don't know if it was the crying or the cashier we had was taking too long, but it seemed like I was in line forever. What was astounding about it all was that this child was still crying like there was no tomorrow! Don't get me wrong. I wasn't irritated at all. I felt more sorry for her because she looked so cute in her pigtails, but she was so super sad and there was nothing I could do about it. Evidently, neither could her mom. Unfortunately, this little girl's mama's patience was almost on empty. She was beyond irritated. I could tell because she was trying to pull her own hair out of her head as she said, "Oh my god, will you please just shut up?! Shut up! SHUT UP!!!" Uh...........WHOA!!! I couldn't believe she just said that! That's something I will NEVER do to my child. And do you think it worked? Nope. That child was still crying.

What would you have done?